I’m a pro at karate tournaments. We have the system figured out. It pains me to walk by and overhear other parents complaining about the tournament we are attending. I’ve seen grown women throw absolute fits over things they clearly just didn’t know or didn’t understand. It’s all part of the charm of being a martial arts mom. I feel like I’ve witnessed some parents self-destruct and determine right there on the spot, that they won’t ever attend another competition again. And that’s just not the message I want to send to my child. Things WON’T GO YOUR WAY most of the time. Life is about knowing how to handle those moments. And that’s just ONE thing out of hundreds that martial arts teaches my son.
My son started competing in martial arts tournaments through the American Taekwondo Association or ATA two years ago. I re-watched some of my old videos of his first competitions, and it’s absolutely amazing to see how much he has learned in two years. He has control and improved techniques today that two years ago I would have wondered if we’d ever be able to reach, and it’s largely due to the patience and pride his instructors have. They do amazing things with the students in the martial arts academy that we attend.
There are some days when my son wants to simply hang out at home and play video games instead of going to karate class. I simply won’t have it. I love the education he is getting at karate classes. It’s hard to explain to a 9, 10 or 11 year old, but some day he’ll get it. I value my son’s martial arts training as much as his education. It’s simply non-negotiable. In addition to basic self defense skills that I hope my son will never need, martial arts teaches respect, courtesy, self-discipline, confidence, believing in yourself, public speaking, leadership – all important life skills that anyone entering the job market will need to demonstrate.
And when my son graduates high school and wants to apply for a job and submit college applications, he’s going to be able to say that he has earned a black belt in martial arts. That he has trained since he was in the third grade. That he has competed all over the world in martial arts tournaments. He’ll be able to list the states he’s competed in - he has 7 so far. He’ll list the medals and trophies he has won and the titles he has earned. He'll write that he is the 2014 Illinois State Champion in Traditional Weapons. He'll write that he won first place at the 2014 World Tournament. He’ll be able to demonstrate a commitment that means something, and he’ll have experience in setting goals, reaching goals and accomplishing tasks. It’s simply non-negotiable to me.
And when my son graduates high school and wants to apply for a job and submit college applications, he’s going to be able to say that he has earned a black belt in martial arts. That he has trained since he was in the third grade. That he has competed all over the world in martial arts tournaments. He’ll be able to list the states he’s competed in - he has 7 so far. He’ll list the medals and trophies he has won and the titles he has earned. He'll write that he is the 2014 Illinois State Champion in Traditional Weapons. He'll write that he won first place at the 2014 World Tournament. He’ll be able to demonstrate a commitment that means something, and he’ll have experience in setting goals, reaching goals and accomplishing tasks. It’s simply non-negotiable to me.
Being a martial arts mom is a huge commitment. It means making sure my son can attend classes, even when I am busy with work. It means investing weekends and money into attending out of state competitions. It means constantly reinforcing what has been learned at class while at home and practicing to keep skills sharp.
Tournaments can be hard, especially if you don’t know what to expect and aren’t willing to have fun no matter what happens. We’ve seen good and bad. We’ve had our competition be on time, and we’ve had ours be late. One almost started without us because the text notification for staging didn't reach our phone. The most important thing to remember – and to model for your child – is that no matter what happens, you will both have a great attitude about it. I wish more parents would remember this and stop complaining in front of their kids when things don’t go the way they expected. The most important thing is to remember to go with the flow. Be flexible. Understand that it won’t go perfectly. That’s life. That’s OK. Don’t be a grouch about it. Bring snacks and drinks with you. Pack a lunch if you know you’ll be waiting during the lunch hour. Be prepared to be there and take a deep breath. Enjoy it, or at least try. Enjoy the ride.
Here’s a template that I use to keep score at our martial arts tournaments. By writing down each competitor’s scores live as they are announced, I’m able to calculate who has won each category before it’s announced. It also helps me look back at who we’ve competed against and look up where they live and how many points they have. Often times we meet the same competitors at future tournaments, and some of these kids will be life-long friends. I wanted to provide it to you so that you can print it out and take it to your next tournament too.
