Today is an awesome day for me. I've had several crappy, God awful ones, but today rocks. Today I turn 37. I'm so very grateful. And thankful. My 36th year was filled with so many ups and downs. It was kinda awful at times. But today is different. Today marks a brand new beginning to a fresh new year - one where I'll marry my best friend (in six months). One where I get to live life more fully and to its maximum potential. 37 is gonna be grand. I can already tell.
Today I've heard from my family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances with wishes for a great day and year ahead, and I can honestly say that my heart is full. The blessing of a scary, awful medical experience is that you feel so much more completely whole in moments where you are so fully blessed. You don't take things for granted as easily. Life is truly a gift and you feel blessed to be alive.
If I could tell you one thing as you get ready to go through your DCIS journey, it's this: it gets better. You WILL feel better. If you are in pain, it's gonna pass. If you are uncomfortable because you have to sleep on your back, you WILL get to feel comfy in your own bed again. If you're scared about upcoming surgeries or procedures or test results - you'll get past it, and you'll surround yourself with a rockstar medical team who will guide you through it all. The crappy day you're having right now - the feeling that you're not "yourself" - the days when you are sad or angry or scared or uncertain. All of that DOES pass, and you'll feel better. One day you will.
There also could be speed bumps and twists and turns in the road. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. What if you get test results that change the diagnosis? What if the journey of fighting cancer must be repeated later down the road? What if things actually get worse? That's certainly a possibility too - for all of us. There are no guarantees, and I'm not naive enough to think that everything always works out in the end. Life is full of uncertainties and ups and downs. It tests your faith and your convictions. It always seems like you've either just gone through something, or you're in the middle of something, OR you're just about to go through something. That's life - no guarantees. Sometimes the news sucks. But I'd like you to consider that you are strong and that you will find a way to get through it, no matter what it is. And - God willing - once you're through it, you'll feel like a brand new person.
I'm at that place today where I can finally say that I am happy. I didn't know if or when I would get there. I've had many crummy, awful days. Days where I didn't think I could motivate anyone with my words here because I couldn't even motivate myself. It sucks.
My wish for you as I blow out my birthday candles today is that you'll soon get past this icky, awful time too, and that it will get better for you fast. I'm here to say, it gets better.
