On Monday, June 1, 2015, I went in to the hospital for my skin-sparing, bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I also had a tracer injection a few hours before my surgery that would identify the lymph nodes that would need to be biopsied. The injection was done near my areola, and I had to massage the breast regularly to distribute the fluid before surgery.
Once I was settled into my pre-op room, there was a lot of waiting. I turned on the tiny tv to try to make time pass faster, but I watched nothing - it was just on. Each of my surgeons (general surgeon who would perform the mastectomy, and plastic surgeon who would place the tissue expanders for my reconstruction) and the anesthesiologist came in to talk with me before my surgery. The plastic surgeon marked on my chest and discussed what he'd be doing. And then finally, it was time to go back. Two nurses came to roll me back. I remember feeling sad, anxious, nervous, relieved and scared - all at once. I said "see ya soon" to Will, and the nurses pushed me back to the operating room. I remember the giant doors. The ride wasn't long, but my mind was racing. I'm certain my heart was pounding. I was trying to remain calm, but I was really nervous.
I remember there being several people in the operating room. I heard my surgeon's voice. Being a contact lens wearer, I couldn't see very clearly. I already had to hand my glasses over to the nurse. They asked me to move from the rolling bed that I was on, over onto the operating table. They told me where to place my arms. I remember being concerned about the IV getting hung up on something as I moved, but I got settled in. Once I was positioned there, I took a couple of deep breaths into the mask - as instructed - and it seemed like only moments later, and I was waking up in recovery.
When I woke up, I recognized one of the nurses from my lumpectomy surgery. I felt a little bit of pain. I remember them telling me that if I felt pain to ask for pain medicine, so I did. That turned out to me a mistake. This was my second time under anesthesia, and the first time I had zero problems. This time, I got sick. I don't know if it was from the pain medicine or the after effects of anesthesia. I stayed sick that entire day and into the next morning. The nurses switched me over to pain medicine taken in pill form. I tried to eat and drink water, or eat ice, but I couldn't keep anything down.
I stayed in the hospital until 4 p.m. the following day. I was in my room for around 24 hours. It seemed much longer to me. I tried to nap often, but that first night was hard. There are all sorts of beeps and alarms. When my IV fluid was empty, an alarm would sound, and I was the only one who would hear it. I'd wait for as long as I could stand it, and then I'd press my nurse alert button. I really hated bothering them, because I could tell that they were so very busy, and I didn't feel like my concerns were urgent. Every time I would stand up to go to the restroom I would need help because for some reason, I didn't yet have shoulder bags for my two On-Q pain pumps. They were giant balls - bigger than a softball - and they had to be held and carried each time I got up. And I had the IV stand to deal with too. On top of all of that, every time I would stand up, I would get sick. It was awful. I felt helpless and depressed on top of the pain and overall discomfort. I just wanted to go home, but I couldn't until I could keep food down, go to the restroom and manage my pain. I tried to time my requests to go to the restroom as far apart as I could stand. I'd note the time I got up and if I felt the need to go again, I actually rationalized in my head if it had been long enough since the last time I got up. I knew I'd throw up, and I knew I'd have to ask the nurses for help.
Will stayed with me all day long. I woke up after one of my naps - sometime around 10 or 11 p.m., and Will was still there in one of the super uncomfy chairs. I felt really bad. He told me he wasn't going to leave without me knowing it. I told him I was OK, and that he could go sleep in a comfy bed. He always gets up early, and I knew he'd be back very early. During the day my sister brought my son to see me. They brought me red roses, a teddy bear and a get well balloon. I was so happy to see them. I showed him my IV and all the things that were coming out of me. I also got a lovely flower arrangement from my team at work. I was grateful to have people thinking of me. Will was in charge of updating close family and friends that day, and I made it a priority to FaceTime with my mom. I knew she wanted to be there too, and I wanted her to "see" me. So we FaceTimed that afternoon when my pain medicine was at its best.
There were other unpleasantries during that 24 hours. My nurses would check on me and take vitals every 3-4 hours. I developed a low-grade fever overnight. One of my drains came apart and I got the fluid all over me. The nurses helped clean me up. I had to have blood drawn at what seemed like 4 a.m. I'm not sure what time it actually was, but it was before 7 a.m. - while Will was at home. I also had to do those breathing exercises to prevent pneumonia. Those lovely people came to have me do the breathing exercises 3 times while I was there.
The next morning my general surgeon came to check on me. He told me that in order to go home I had to be able to go to the bathroom; I had to have my pain managed; and I had to be able to keep food down. After that overnight stay, I was determined to meet those requirements. He also told me that getting up to move around would likely help get rid of that low-grade fever. I was really afraid I'd be sick if I moved, but I tried it. I was so relieved when I could move around without feeling sick. I eventually took a few laps up and down the hallway - with Will's help. We got to peek into the nursery (there weren't that many babies in there that day). It passed the time to get up and walk, so we walked 2 or 3 times.
My boss and a teammate from work came by to visit me. I was feeling so much better by then. And the nurses were discussing releasing me, so I was feeling good. While I had guests, the nurse came in to take my IV out! I was thrilled. I was going home! Will helped me pack everything up into the truck, and he was able to drive the truck to the patient pick up door. We got everything we needed, and instructions for taking care of my drains, and I got to take the wheelchair ride downstairs.
Getting into the truck, and going over all of the bumps of the road wasn't fun. But getting to sit in my own house, in our recliner, in front of our TV made it all worthwhile. I was finally home.
When I got home I looked like this. I had an elastic binder that used Velcro to close it. I also had four attachments - two On-Q pain pumps that were contained in black zippered bags, and two surgical drains - the nurse navigator gave me pink bags with ribbon straps to hold the drains in. The very tiny pain pump tubes are visible above my binder. The larger drain tubes were coming out of each of my sides.
Close up of the bags. The clear thin tubes belong to the pain pumps; the red larger tubes are my surgical drains doing their job.
The drains truly looked like grenades. I used a lanyard around my neck to hold them while I showered, and I alternated a few different ways to deal with them. I used the pink bags for a few days. I used my lanyard sometimes as well. And, I used giant safety pins to attach them to my binder or camisole. I had my drains for two weeks. We had to use two fingers to "strip" all of the fluid and tissue out of each tube, measure and record the output and time of measurements during that time. The amount of fluid decreased over time, and the color of the fluid gradually changed from red to reddish to pink to brownish yellow.
I had sutures holding each of my drain tubes in place. These things were sore, and were one of the worst parts of this whole ordeal. Each time I'd bump one, or adjust my posture in my recliner, it would hurt. I would finally get one side to stop hurting, then the other would start hurting more. I also had one incident where a tube got stuck on a kitchen drawer handle. Ouch. I was way more careful after that incident.
I got my appointment to return for my drain removal - Monday, June 15, 2015. If everything was going according to plan, this would also be my first saline fill into my tissue expanders.
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