Martial Arts Mom

I’m a pro at karate tournaments. We have the system figured out. It pains me to walk by and overhear other parents complaining about the tournament we are attending. I’ve seen grown women throw absolute fits over things they clearly just didn’t know or didn’t understand. It’s all part of the charm of being a martial arts mom. I feel like I’ve witnessed some parents self-destruct and determine right there on the spot, that they won’t ever attend another competition again. And that’s just not the message I want to send to my child. Things WON’T GO YOUR WAY most of the time. Life is about knowing how to handle those moments. And that’s just ONE thing out of hundreds that martial arts teaches my son.

My son started competing in martial arts tournaments through the American Taekwondo Association or ATA two years ago. I re-watched some of my old videos of his first competitions, and it’s absolutely amazing to see how much he has learned in two years. He has control and improved techniques today that two years ago I would have wondered if we’d ever be able to reach, and it’s largely due to the patience and pride his instructors have. They do amazing things with the students in the martial arts academy that we attend.

There are some days when my son wants to simply hang out at home and play video games instead of going to karate class. I simply won’t have it. I love the education he is getting at karate classes. It’s hard to explain to a 9, 10 or 11 year old, but some day he’ll get it. I value my son’s martial arts training as much as his education. It’s simply non-negotiable. In addition to basic self defense skills that I hope my son will never need, martial arts teaches respect, courtesy, self-discipline, confidence, believing in yourself, public speaking, leadership – all important life skills that anyone entering the job market will need to demonstrate. 

And when my son graduates high school and wants to apply for a job and submit college applications, he’s going to be able to say that he has earned a black belt in martial arts. That he has trained since he was in the third grade. That he has competed all over the world in martial arts tournaments. He’ll be able to list the states he’s competed in - he has 7 so far. He’ll list the medals and trophies he has won and the titles he has earned. He'll write that he is the 2014 Illinois State Champion in Traditional Weapons. He'll write that he won first place at the 2014 World Tournament. He’ll be able to demonstrate a commitment that means something, and he’ll have experience in setting goals, reaching goals and accomplishing tasks. It’s simply non-negotiable to me.

Being a martial arts mom is a huge commitment. It means making sure my son can attend classes, even when I am busy with work. It means investing weekends and money into attending out of state competitions. It means constantly reinforcing what has been learned at class while at home and practicing to keep skills sharp.

Tournaments can be hard, especially if you don’t know what to expect and aren’t willing to have fun no matter what happens. We’ve seen good and bad. We’ve had our competition be on time, and we’ve had ours be late. One almost started without us because the text notification for staging didn't reach our phone. The most important thing to remember – and to model for your child – is that no matter what happens, you will both have a great attitude about it. I wish more parents would remember this and stop complaining in front of their kids when things don’t go the way they expected. The most important thing is to remember to go with the flow. Be flexible. Understand that it won’t go perfectly. That’s life. That’s OK. Don’t be a grouch about it. Bring snacks and drinks with you. Pack a lunch if you know you’ll be waiting during the lunch hour. Be prepared to be there and take a deep breath. Enjoy it, or at least try. Enjoy the ride.

Here’s a template that I use to keep score at our martial arts tournaments. By writing down each competitor’s scores live as they are announced, I’m able to calculate who has won each category before it’s announced. It also helps me look back at who we’ve competed against and look up where they live and how many points they have. Often times we meet the same competitors at future tournaments, and some of these kids will be life-long friends. I wanted to provide it to you so that you can print it out and take it to your next tournament too.

Peanut Butter Heaven!

Peanut butter addicts unite! This is lick-the-bowl level delish, ya'll! No joke! Peanut Butter Dip. I used one red container of low-fat vanilla Greek yogurt and two teaspoons of natural peanut butter. Mixed it all up until smooth and dreamy. I used a plain ole spoon for that. And then I sprinkled a bit of PB2 on top! I sliced my apple up as thinly as possible, and then I savored every bite! Try it ASAP!

How to Stay Married - Don't Stop

At the end of August, my baby sister will change her last name from Wolfe to Patten. She sent out the coolest RSVP that the world has ever seen asking those who can’t attend, to at least send in one piece of “marriage advice” for them as they start their life together.

How to stay married is a topic that I’ve thought a lot about over the last 12 years – mostly because I get a big “F” in that class. I wasn’t able to do it. I’m not an expert on the topic. In fact, I’m one of the ones she’s specifically asked NOT to reply to that question, because – of course – I’m attending, and I’m RSVPing in the “yes” category. I’ve thought about it long and hard. What would I write on that tiny little blank. What’s the ONE piece of advice to make a marriage thrive? I had decided that I couldn’t do it. There’s no way to sum it up in one line. So I launched a web campaign to solicit advice from my friends and acquaintances. And I got some pretty solid responses.

“Always kiss each other good night.”

Yep, that’s a good one.

“Friendship is a must! Don’t ever forget the laughter, the smiles and the joy of being with each other.”

That’s another winner too. I added it to my list.

“Every day you have a choice to make: either grow closer together or further apart. It’s the small day-by-actions that drive the relationship. Never take a single day or action (big or small) for granted.” 

Wow. That’s a great one too.

I went through all of the kind thoughts that were sent in to me, and contemplated how to summarize it all. And then as I was typing it all up, it hit me. The words I needed to write were concise and simple and all inclusive. What’s my greatest advice for building a life together? Two words. Don’t stop.

There are hundreds of possible things to consider about a maintaining a thriving marriage. Some are quite personal based on experience. They’re mostly random thoughts I wrote down along with the submissions that I received from my friends that I asked online. I’ve included them, but they are nothing compared to these two words. Don’t stop. It sounds so simple, but it’s almost impossible to tell someone how to accomplish. It’s complex enough that people fail at it every single day.

I failed at it.

So here’s my best attempt to explain it to you now, baby sister. I hope you and Devin can take the concept, personalize it, and run with it. (Oh, and tell Devin to stop singing Journey in the background as you read. I know he is. This isn’t about their song this time.)

Don’t stop being boyfriend and girlfriend. Preserve today – right now – and the way you feel about each other. OK, maybe don’t preserve the way you feel about the crazy wedding planning stuff, but everything else about being boyfriend and girlfriend – and the way you support each other through the stress – bottle that stuff up. Save it. Use it every single day.

Many of these concepts will be unique to you as a couple, and I won’t be able to list them all out for you. But I can tell you what to look for and how to start to identify those things. It’s then up to you two to KEEP THOSE THINGS ALIVE.

Think of this as a fire with bright glowing embers. Today the fire is the brightest that it will ever be. Try, with all of your might. Try to keep the sparks – no, the FLAMES – alive. Both of you – EVERY SINGLE DAY. Don’t stop.

Don’t stop dating.

Don’t stop trying.

Don’t stop giving this relationship  your absolute all.

Don’t stop trying to win him/her over.

Don’t stop being intimate.

Don’t stop discovering ways to keep things fresh and new.

Don’t stop being passionate.

Don’t stop being each other’s best friend.

Don’t stop recreating what “fun” is.

Don’t stop being adventurous.

Don’t stop putting on makeup, dressing cute and wearing deodorant.

Don’t stop surprising each other with little sentiments/actions of affection.

Don’t stop flirting with each other.

Don’t stop holding hands.

Don’t stop cuddling.

Don’t stop telling each other what you love about the other person.

Don’t stop appreciating each other.

Don’t stop sticking up for each other.

Don’t stop telling each other your secrets, your dreams, your goals, your successes, your failures.

Don’t stop closing the bathroom door when you need privacy.

Don’t stop being kind to each other.

Don’t stop smiling.

Don’t stop running errands together.

Don’t stop texting each other.

Don’t stop sharing inside jokes.

Don’t stop acting young and vibrant.

Don’t stop laughing.

Don’t stop being Alauna.

Don’t stop being Devin.

My advice – since indirectly you did ask me for it – is to spend some time talking together about this. Maybe make a list together, or separately write love letters to each other. Whatever you decide to do, fill it full of all the things you want to preserve when you make the transition from boyfriend and girlfriend, to husband and wife.

I once read about a couple who wrote secret letters to each other, and kept them locked in a pretty box on their mantle to open years later on a future wedding anniversary, or in the case that the marriage was threatened and divorce was pending. I believe there’s something to it. Figure out what works best for you.

Also worth noting – the me today, is a completely different person from the 20-year-old me. I’ve grown into the person I am today, and I am vastly different. Heck, I didn’t even like who I was 15 years ago. I believe that transformation happens to all of us. Look down the road 15 or 20 years from now. You’ll be different people too. You have to grow TOGETHER into who you will become as individuals, and as a couple. I want to see you with so much love, happiness and joy in your hearts that it radiates off of you. I want that love to overflow into your children’s lives and the lives of your furry/spiky kids (cats and hedgehog).

I wish for you all the happiness that your hearts can hold, and that each day will only get better and better.

I’ve included the other random thoughts here as well. I hope it will help guide you along with the other RSVPs you receive. 

Love always from your big bossy oldest sister,

Amber

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1. Checking accounts are super easy to obtain. At a minimum, your household should have THREE. Maintain a joint checking account if you must. It’s really dreamy to see your name right beside his on an official document like a check, BUT ALWAYS KEEP SEPARATE ACCOUNTS that you each manage. You should never question a gift the other person gives to you because you saw how much it cost. Separate accounts. Always.

2. Use separate toothpaste tubes, if it drives you batty that he squeezes the tube from a different spot than you do. Don’t drive yourself nuts over it. Just buy two dang tubes.

3. Never criticize anything about your partner in front of anyone. Ever. Even if you are “joking” – don’t do it. Don’t vent to a parent or best friend. Talk to each other. This is life. Don’t ever chip away at your foundation of trust, or it will eventually crumble.

4. Read Dan Pearce’s post on how he blew his marriage. Along with his follow up post. And his third installment as well. You can find it here.

5. It’s OK to have a bad day. It’s not OK to take it out on the person who loves you the most. Try not to be a grumpy cat who snaps when you’re stressed. This one will be hard, so focus hard on overcoming it.

6. Love is a triangle. Husband, wife and God at top. If you are both walking toward him, you will walk closer to each other automatically.

7. No matter how mad you are, always sleep in the same bed. You’ll sleep better and probably end up cuddling at some point in the night. Have fun together and try new things. Face your fears together.

8. Communication is key! Always tell each other what you’re thinking & feeling. It’s absolutely essential in a relationship/marriage.

9. Write down the reasons you are marrying each other and keep it. Refer back to it when you are struggling. It may not be for many years down the road, but it will serve as a reminder of why they chose to love each other.

10. Compromise is vital. It’s not just you and your opinions that matter any longer. You both have a point of view on things, and to be successful, you’ll have to talk it out and become pros at compromise.

11. Don’t just SAY I love you. PROVE the magnitude of your love with your actions and with your consideration. It’s awesome to say “I love you.” But it’s another thing altogether to say it and to live it. Make sure your actions match your words.

Bulls Eye!

I'm so glad I got to experience this moment with my son. We both couldn't believe our eyes. First shot at the target - bulls eye! So I took it down to have proof that it was a single shot. Pretty cool, huh? I love making memories. :)

Apology to Mom - Dirty Clothes

Mom, 

I'm sorry for all the times I did this next to an empty laundry hamper.

Making Memories at Disneyland

Oh the magic and joys of Disneyland. People are everywhere. Some are complaining. Some are yelling at their spouse for not answering the cell phone. Strollers as far as they eye can see. Children who can hardly contain their excitement. Parents who are trying to take deep breaths (that cost how much?!) while maintaining their sanity (we have to wait in that line for how long?!) and enjoying the smiles on their kids’ faces. Lines and lines and lines everywhere. Music. Cast members who are empowered to exceed customers’ expectations. Fireworks. Park re-entry hand stamps. Walking – step after step after step. Characters. Rides. Squeals of delight followed by fits from exhaustion. Hidden Mickeys. It’s not an experience I’d recommend that often. It’s sensory overload! Today is my first day back in the real world, and before I forget all of the things I vowed to never forget, I wanted to jot them all down and share my tips and best practices with you.

First things first – I’m a complete and total Disney newbie. I’ve always enjoyed Disney movies. I know the power of the “magic” but I’m new to it. This was my first ever visit to Disneyland – and I’ve got the pin to prove it. I visited Disney World as a child. I had no idea what my parents went through navigating the park with 4 kids of various ages and sizes. Total respect to my parents who survived it. I just took one kid with me this time – I had it easy compared to trying to wrangle 4 kids. Please note that I’m sharing my opinions as a first-timer. This is the first time I, as an adult, have planned a Disney trip like this.

My absolute favorite experience of the entire trip, is that I got to share my favorite ride as a kid – Space Mountain – with my son who is 11.

Memories are odd things. Our minds are filled with life’s experiences and there’s really no way to say which memories we’ll hold onto and why we do. I don’t remember every detail about Disney World when we visited. I have flashes of several things we did. I remember the ocean. I remember fire ants at my Great Uncle’s house. I remember a cousin that went with us on some of our adventures. Some of my memories are shaped by the photos that my dad took – he took a lot of 35 mm film photos that trip. I vividly remember Space Mountain. I got to ride it over and over and over. And it was awesome.

Space Mountain awaits!

Disneyland has a version of Space Mountain in the park’s Tomorrowland. I’ll freely admit that Tomorrowland doesn’t feel as exciting to me today, as it did to me 25 years ago, mostly because today is my tomorrow from back then, and Tomorrowland is largely unchanged. It feels a little underwhelming to me now, but my son still found it to be pretty amazing. They have a Star Wars attraction called Star Tours that was pretty cool. There were Storm Troopers walking around being mean like you’d expect them to be – and that was pretty neat to see.

We tried to ride Space Mountain on our first afternoon in the parks, and the line was crazy long (good sign to me that people still love it!) but because I told my son how much I liked it, he agreed to wait in the line with me. We waited for a bit, and progressed but became pretty tired of the line right away. Then a cast member came out and said the ride was going to be closed for an undetermined amount of time, and that everyone was welcome to wait to see if it got fixed, or we could get out of line. We opted to get out and go do something else. I was still trying to figure the Fast Pass thing out at that point, and so we decided to come back and do the Fast Pass thing at another time.

Thankfully, the attraction was functioning the next time we were in that park and we got our Fast Passes to come back and bypass the line. Man, that’s the way to go. Definitely! So we zipped right up to the loading area and waited a short time for our cart. And it was worth the wait and anticipation. He LOVED it, and I loved sharing it with him.

I had my fingers secretly crossed the entire time, hoping that he wouldn’t think it was lame. I knew that he liked the thrill rides, and from what I recalled it was going to be cool to him. Thankfully, he thought it was awesome. This photo – courtesy of Disney’s Space Mountain camera system – cracks us up every time we see it. I instantly knew that I had to purchase it. I love it. 

Photo courtesy of Disney, 2014

There are so  many things I’d do differently next time. I wanted to share them here, so that any Disneyland newbies might learn from my mistakes.

Here’s my list of top tips and some things I’ll do differently next time. And I apologize in advance if you have to incorporate waiting in the lines to meet Disney princesses and characters. 11 is a great age – we had zero interest in “meeting” any Disney characters. Thank goodness. So we didn’t have to fight to see Elsa and Anna from Frozen. Thank goodness. We got our character fix just from walking by and seeing the characters meeting others. And there’s the parade too – if you must see characters that is a great place to do it. But we didn’t have any time for parades either – we just didn’t want to sit still while all those people were OUT of our ride lines! 

Amber’s #1 Tip – Read up and prepare in advance. I tried to prepare in advance, but I’m telling you now I came up short. I bought two books, downloaded a few line tracking apps on my iPhone, and did internet research. I asked a friend for some tips and tricks too. But I was totally unprepared. Make a plan. Stick to the plan. Don’t let the wide eyes of your children looking up at you sweetly with those Puss in Boots eyes –  you know the ones – don’t let them change your plan. Next time I’ll know the ins and outs a little better but.

Amber’s #2 Tip – Magic Hour Rocks! Stay in a Disney Resort property if you can and get into one of the parks early. If you stay in a Disney property and have the valid room key to prove it, you get one hour in one of the parks BEFORE it opens. This one hour is a glorious time. Go every day. Be there at the gates ready to go at 7:45 at the latest. That one hour was AMAZING for us once we figured out how to handle it properly. I had the opportunity to school one couple in line behind me as I heard them complaining on how the Magic Hour was anything but magic. They were doing it wrong. Totally. We did the Magic Hour at Disney’s California Adventure both mornings that we could – so we became experts over there. Here is my secret knowledge.

Leave your hotel at 7:30 and walk over to the gates. You’ll go through the bag check line, and then you’ll wait at the actual turnstile gates until about 7:45 when you’ll be allowed to enter the park. Now you can proceed to the area of the park that you want to hit first. You’ll then have to wait once more until the cast members give you the go ahead that it’s 8 a.m.

Here’s the key – there are two places where everyone will jam up and wait – the most popular is at the entrance to Cars Land. If you are a newbie, you’ll follow the crowd like we did and then have no idea what you’re even in line waiting for. Don’t make that mistake. If you are in that line with all those people, you’ve sucked the magic out of Magic Hour. Totally. We did that for a few minutes. I’m not one to stand in a random line without knowing what it was for, so I walked over to the side and was able to see that I was waiting behind a rope in the street. I overheard another guest talking and could tell she had been there before, and I started talking to her. She told me we were in the line to wait to enter Cars Land. We didn’t want to do that, so we high tailed it over to the Hollywood Tower Hotel – my son’s favorite ride. He would have ridden it all day if I would have let him, but we stopped at two rides that morning so we could do other things. But he got to ride it again a few times, the next Magic Morning we spent in California Adventure. Magic Hour is totally worth it.

The second place that everyone will jam up will be at Grizzly Peak – guests at the Disney Grand Californian have an entrance over there – and that line was pretty crazy too.

Enter the park with everyone and head down Buena Vista Street toward the fountain and then turn left to Hollywood Land. Spend at least one morning over in Hollywood Land and take in the line-free magic! We walked right up to my son’s favorite ride, the Hollywood Tower Hotel, at 8 a.m., and rode it twice in the first 10 minutes. With zero waiting. He was THRILLED. Let everyone else go fight it out to get in to Cars Land. Go check out Hollywood Land when no one is there! Then go over to Soarin’ Over California in Condor Flats.

If you have someone in your party who is willing to go wait in the line for Radiator Racers fast passes – then I highly suggest that you do that early during the Magic Hour. Or you could have someone wait in the line to ride Radiator Racers – I didn’t want to waste my entire Magic Hour waiting in line with my son, doing that when I knew I could get the Fast Pass and have a better experience.

Our next Magic Hour morning we waited over with the Grizzly Peak crowd to get to Paradise Pier – that wasn’t so bad at all, because at 8 a.m. everyone dispersed and we were the very first ones to get to ride California Screamin’ – the roller coaster – my son’s other favorite ride. And so we rode it twice back-to-back and then got on the Mickey’s Fun Wheel ride with no waiting.

Amber’s #3 Tip – Obtain and Use Fast Passes. Always. Fast Passes aren’t available for every attraction in the park, but when they are available GET THEM AND USE THEM! They are amazing. I wish you could make an appointment for every single attraction in the park, but you can’t. The Fast Pass machines are usually right beside the attraction (except for Radiator Racers – that one is right at the Bug’s Land exit and Cars Land entrance due to the crowd I can only assume.) Based on your child’s interest, you’ll know which rides you want to ride – if a Fast Pass is available, get them and then ride the other attractions until you are able to get your next Fast Pass (the bottom of your Fast Pass will tell you when you can get your next one). AMAZING to redeem your Fast Pass to walk right in and get to the front of the line.

Amber’s #4 Tip – Hidden Mickeys – Play the Hidden Mickey game while you wait. We didn’t start this til later in the trip, but it’s a lot of fun to be on the lookout for hidden Mickeys throughout the park. We got really into it and it’s great to do while you are waiting in the lines for some of the non-Fast Pass attractions. There’s a book and a web site that offers guidance on it. Look it up.

Amber’s #5 Tip – Disney Allowance. If your children are old enough, give them a Disney allowance to spend during your trip. This is a great lesson on how quickly money is gone and children will be overwhelmed at all the magical Disney goodies they want to have in their lives. Teach them how far the dollars go – and ask them to start prioritizing and making decisions based on the amount of money they have.

This is my son’s favorite pin trade from the trip! An avid Alice in Wonderland collector asked my son if he’d trade with him. We couldn’t wait get rid of that pin and get this cool one! You never know who’s collecting what!

Amber’s #6 Tip – Pin Trading. Amazing for older kids. Tyler visited Disney World in 2007 or 2008 and he has a lanyard with some pins from that visit. We took it along, and he wore it in the park. More than one of the cast members saw his pins and stopped him to talk to him about them. He felt really special. But he didn’t want to trade any of his pins. One of the cast members told us a little more about the pin trading thing. Several of them have a black over-the-should pin display thing on their hip, and these are pins that they trade with anyone who wants to trade. Many of these pins aren’t very cool, but once you figure out which sets you like and want to collect, it becomes an adventure! 

One word of caution to beware of is that many of the pins could be "fake" (not made by Disney at all, but acquired on eBay) or "scrapper" pins  (made by Disney but they were acquired after they have been discarded because of an error or quality concern). Just know that if you trade there's a chance you could trade your real pin for a cheap imitation. That's fine if your child loves the pin they are ending up with, but it has become something we look out for. On a real Disney pin the details are very high quality. You can feel the detail lines on the pin's surface - it's not smooth. The Mickey print on the back of the pin goes completely off the edge with no border. The edges of the pin are smooth. The pin is heavy and feels high quality. The eyes of the characters are sharp and detailed. The words on the back aren't misspelled. Check out YouTube for some video tutorials. But just beware.

We learned that you can purchase less expensive pin packs that are “hidden” in the package  – you can’t see which pins are inside until you open them – and then your child can trade the ones he or she wants to trade with Disney cast members! Several of the shops also have a pin board or a stuffed animal wearing a pin lanyard behind the counter. Trading pins was one of my son’s favorite pastimes between attractions. He decided to collect all of the Nightmare Before Christmas pins he could find as well as the Duffy Teddy Bear pins. And it became  a lot of fun once he narrowed down his focus.

WARNING – They sell a LOT of pins that are a bit more expensive – you can buy a pin for each ride or each character. There are TONS of pins. And they are cute and nearly irresistible. See the aforementioned Disney allowance tip on how to handle that.

Amber’s #7 Tip – Disney Resort Express. I went to Anaheim, CA without using a rental car and it was amazingly easy. I highly recommend the Disney Resort Express – a full-size bus that is colorfully wrapped in a Disney themed exterior. Ours had Lightning McQueen and Cars Land on it. The bus picked us up at the airport right outside of the baggage area, and dropped us off right at our Disneyland hotel with ease. Same for our return trip from the hotel to the airport. It was easy. It was awesome. It was affordable (children under a certain age ride for FREE) and I didn’t have to worry about getting lost, parking, paying for parking at Disney, dragging luggage to the airport, etc. Use the Disney Resort Express. It’s great!

Our Disney Journal

Amber’s #8 Tip – Disney Journal. I bought a Mickey themed journal before we went on our trip with plans to give it to my son at some point. I hadn’t really settled on exactly what I was going to do with it until our trip home. I didn’t want to leave Disney and my son didn’t either. But we were tired and were both ready to stop walking so many miles per day. At the airport when we got settled and were waiting for our plane to board, it hit me – the Disney journal should  be a place to write down our Disney memories after each and every trip there. I’m big on asking my son “what was your favorite part of the day” or “what was your favorite part of the movie” right after an experience ends. Ever since he first started talking, I’ve always enjoyed hearing his perspective on things. I consistently ask him to tell me about his day, and talk to him to hear his memories. So, I got out the maps of the parks and started interviewing my son about his favorites. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the mood to write (I’m off from school, mom!)

First we talked about all the attractions that we did and we circled them all on our maps. That started a discussion about the things we didn’t do – and there were a few of them that we skipped intentionally due to other priorities at the moment, but we talked about the next trip and what we’d do that time. Then we started talking about our favorites. Not just favorite attractions – but also favorite experiences, memories, foods, hotel perks, etc. We started lists of all the “top” things we could think of. We spent about an hour doing this, and it was a lot of fun. Bonus that we passed the airport wait time. Get a Disney journal and talk about the trip so you won’t lose the memories.

Amber’s #9 Tip – Visit Radiator Springs aka Cars Land at night to see the neon lights! It is beautiful. Go see it. I can’t speak highly enough about Cars Land. It feels like you are IN THE CARTOON. The shops are amazing replicas. The atmosphere is electric. The excitement around Radiator Racers attraction is overwhelming, but totally worth waiting in line to experience. Cars Land was our favorite! It is absolutely beyond cool to see Mater and Lightning McQueen DRIVE DOWN THE STREET and greet you! Then they park and people line up to get their picture taken with them. I can’t even tell you how well done it is. Go see it. Trust me.

Amber’s #10 Tip – Make Friends in Lines. There are Disney experts EVERYWHERE. And they’re waiting in the lines with you. I finally figured this out, and started to identify them and start a conversation with them. Find the Disney experts all around you and strike up conversations! You’ll learn so much just by starting a conversation. Well how will I know who is a Disney expert, you might be asking yourself. It’s easy. Just watch for a few minutes. I GLADLY stood in line for 30 minutes for my Radiator Racers Fast Passes. I passed by the line several times thinking it was too long to wait in, and then when I saw how long that line ACTUALLY GETS things were put into perspective. You have to get in line for the Radiator Racers Fast Passes at 8:30 – park opens at 9 – so you can be ahead of everyone who will enter the park at 9 when the park opens and the passes are actually distributed. Got it. No problem. I watched as an angry wife yelled at her husband for not answering his cell phone when she tried to call him. They were panicked over the length of the line that I knew for a fact was NOT long yet. These people fall into the category of NOT being a Disney expert. But in front of me was a young man who was wearing a Disney shirt, had a Disney backpack, hand a nice and intentionally selected collection of Disney pins on his Disney lanyard. And he had no kids in line with him. DISNEY EXPERT! You will be able to easily spot them. Just watch, listen and wait. The Disney experts will make themselves known. And then when you start to talk to one, the others will chime in. It’s great! I wish I had done this sooner in my trip. But now you know my secret!

As I think of other tips and tricks, I’ll likely add to the list. I’ve got a million of them swimming around in my head. And some might be as general as my top 10. Overall, we had a GREAT time. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I hope my son remembers the trip when he’s my age and gets to take his family back. And I hope he will tell them how awesome their grandmother is and what a great time he had when he visited Disneyland back in 2014 when he was 11.

I’m by no means a Disney expert, but I hope to become one! What tips and tricks did I leave out? Comment below and let me know!

Meal Planning

Meal planning has been essential to my successful weight loss. It also SUCKS. I'm not the best at planning ahead, but I've forced myself to do a better job. If I don't, my healthy eating suffers.

First, I take an inventory of my kitchen to determine what I'm out of. If I don't do this, I will end up with 17 jars of PB2. And who wants that? So first up, inventory what you have.

Based on what I know I need to use up, then I write out what meals I want to make for the week ahead. I use a copy of my meal planning template for this.

Next up - I make a grocery list on my iPhone - I use the notes section. I ALWAYS have my iPhone with me. Therefore, I'll never forget my shopping list.

And finally, over the weekend I shop! I try to stick to my shopping list. I delete items as I put them in my cart. I spend the majority of my time shopping the outer perimeter of the grocery section - proteins, veggies, fruits. All the processed stuff is in the middle, and I'm to the point where it just feels wrong to be shopping there.

And finally, food prep Sunday. It's amazing how much easier my life is when I pre-wash my fruits and veggies. I also like to pre-cook the foods I know I'll need a lot of - boiled eggs, chicken breast, ground beef, etc. Food prep ensures there's no chance of failure!

It's super important to me that I keep a food log - I print a second copy of my meal planning template, and write down what I have eaten. I keep it at my desk, and I write it down as I go along through the day. It helps keep me focused on my goals, and I'm much more successful when I do this.

I'm posting my meal planning template on the blog today for everyone to download. I couldn't find a template that I liked, so I made one! I'm happy to share it with you. Here's another meal planning template version that I made too.

Hope you have a successful meal planning weekend for great results next week!

Dear Amber

I had a crazy weird idea that I've never tried before to write a note from my fat self to my skinny self. I don't want to simply choose not to remember how being overweight makes me FEEL. It's so easy to be on the "goal weight high" that you simply block those bad feelings out of your mind. I don't want that to happen again. So I wrote a letter to myself, to read (and re-read) once I reach my goal weight. Do you have any ideas that will keep you from repeating the same cycle?

January 24, 2014

If you're reading this letter, that means you've reached your ultimate dream goal weight! Congratulations! It takes a tremendous amount of dedication, will power and control to lose weight. Way to go!

Before you start celebrating too much, I want you to pause and remember a few things about yourself. Reaching your goal weight is NOT anywhere close to the same thing as reaching a finish line. If you're starting to think of it that way, STOP. You did it! You lost the weight! Congratulations! Huge accomplishment. But you are nowhere near "done" with healthy eating and nutrition. It's a lifestyle. It's a balance. It's not a race. 

We've done this many times before. But this time, as you sit there feeling all awesome in your favorite clothes, I want you to read this letter. Post it somewhere. Reflect on it often. Remember what you felt like as you started this journey. Defeated. Fat. Tired. Frumpy. Remember that? No? The high of the new numbers on the scales sort of dulls those feelings, huh. Or do you just choose NOT to remember how it was back then? That's what I thought. See, I know exactly what you're feeling. And I know how remarkably easy it is to switch that "healthy eating" button OFF and then start to fall back into old habits. So READ THIS. Read it often. Etch it into your mind. And if you start to forget, come back and read this again.

You will not stay at your goal weight if you start eating anything and everything you want to eat. Now I know what you're thinking. You want to reward yourself. You want to taste everything you've restricted from your eating plan for the last 8 months. I get it. I do. But you CANNOT stay at your goal weight, if you eat peanut butter, bread and spaghetti every day. You just can't! 

Let's talk a little more about what it's like to be FAT. Yes, when you wrote this letter, you were FAT. You weighed in at 212 pounds at your heaviest. And back then you preferred to wear elastic pants. You called them yoga pants, to try to make yourself accept the situation you were in, but still the fact remains that you couldn't even fit into most of your clothes. And when you did try on your jeans, you realized they were ginormous mom jeans, and you hated the way you looked. The back pockets stretched across your rear end in the most unflattering way imaginable.

You wore a lot of black.

Many of your coats and jackets became too small. Remember the men's yellow one you always wore? Remember why? Most of your own jackets were too small. You put on your red one and it would barely reach around you!

Remember sitting in the car, or in the truck? You noticed at the very beginning of your journey to lose weight that you had to move a little sideways to get to the seatbelt buckle and snap it together. When you sat down in the bathtub your hips and thighs came right to the sides of the tub. When you looked down at your lap, all you could see was your huge gut. There's no chance it would be flat. Ever. No matter how much sucking in you did.

Do you remember that when you bent down to pick something up or to put on your socks and shoes, that your knees actually widened so that you could bend down easier?

When you looked in the mirror at the beauty shop, you hardly recognized your own fat face. Your chin was rounded. Your neck was flabby. Your shoulders were way broader than they should have been.

Remember avoiding all those holiday pictures last year? Your family didn't take any group holiday pictures in 2013, and you made sure that you didn't try to change that - you didn't want to be in any pictures. But, remember those shots that your sister took of you testing out the drums? FAT. HUGE. DISGUSTING. You kept those pictures. Go look at them now. Remember.

You preached a lot about loving yourself and how people are beautiful at every size, but you haven't felt beautiful in a long time. Back then, you usually didn't wear any makeup. Your hair would often be pulled back in a ponytail. And there were many days that you'd dread putting on your undergarments - they were tight. They didn't fit right. And you were miserable. You didn't feel pretty. You didn't feel confident. You didn't feel sexy. Not even close.

Last night your son left half of a chocolate cupcake on his plate - you bought two giant, beautiful cupcakes - for the 3 people at your house. You did NOT buy one for yourself, because your willpower was strong back then. You had just found your focus AGAIN and changed your mindset over from "eat whatever you want" to "this has to stop." As you were cleaning up in the kitchen, you paused for a minute and looked at the chocolate cupcake on the plate. It was just a brief moment, but you had a very clear realization. It reminded you that you had to write all of this down. You had to warn your "goal weight" self. You were afraid you'd fail again this time around. And you knew that you'd forget what it felt like to be fat and miserable. And then you tossed it right in the trashcan. I bet if that happens again you won't instantly remember what it was like to have that kind of willpower. But please, try. Please read this letter and remember your former fat self. Don't come back here. Evolve to fit. Practice healthy eating habits and moderation. Don't repeat this cycle again. Take care of this one body that you have. Live a healthy, active, fun life! It's not a finish line. It's your life. Live it to the fullest.

I love you.

Amber

21 Day Fix Preview!

I can't WAIT for celebrity trainer Autumn Calabrese's new program 21-Day Fix. It's a program that focuses equally on what you eat and how much to eat, AND exercise. And it's for all fitness levels. It even comes with 7 portion controlled containers. You just fill the color-coded containers - and eat. No measuring, counting carbs or calories, etc. And the program is 21 days long. I have serious commitment issues - when programs last for 10 weeks I feel like total failure when I skip days. And I usually end up flaking out or only finishing certain parts of a program. I can do anything for 21 days! And I won't feel like a total loser for not finishing. This program also has 30-minute workouts that you complete along with it. In the test groups, people lost 10-15 pounds during the 3 weeks! And many participants completed multiple rounds of it, and lost up to 100 pounds! This program launches in February, and I'm happy to give you all the details if you think you might want to try it with me. My February challenge groups will be focusing on this program. If this sounds like the program for you, send me a note or sign up for my fitness team for FREE, and I'll let you know the release date the second I find out. I think it's set for February 3! A challenge pack will be $140 (this includes a month of Shakeology and saves you $60) and the base pack for the program is $59.85!